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Visit to the library

May 11, 2010

@Morgan_BonTemps and myself had not spoken since Saturday nite. I kept my distance from her, since the argument. I wasn’t sure if she’d want to see me again. I feel like I’m a bane in her life, even though all I want is to see her happy. I get so confused when she touches me all the time, I remember I had to calm myself down in her bathroom once because she is a very touchy, feely woman. I’m surprised I’ve managed to hold back so long, but I can’t just let her into my life on a whim because I do not want to see @HunterSavoyRD also watch her leave when she has enough of Hunter’s abilty (telepathy).

So, I tried to put my mind at ease. Trying to bury my frustrations and emotions away and concentrate on the only person that is in my life right now, Hunter. I even bought him a guitar this week, it’s not a full length guitar, it’s for children and has Sponge Bob printed on it. I still think his fingers are too small, but at least he can try.

I spoke to @branflakez and told her that we’d need to visit @BTPublicLibrary to pick up some books. I was hoping to get a copy of Charlaine Harris’ ‘Dead In The Family’ (a new Sookie Stackhouse Mystery), some guitar books for Hunter and some new pop-up books. Sometimes I wonder if Ms. Harris is secretly watching Hunter’s Aunt @TB_Sookie.

Anyway, when we reached there, I found myself looking around the library. I’m still amazed by how big the library is. I waited patiently for Brandee, before she took my son to the the arts table. My son, Hunter, loves to draw and color. He’s quite creative, which makes me wonder what he’ll be when he grows up. Brandee lured me away and sat me down. She told me she needed to speak to me about something. I wasn’t sure what, but I was hoping she wasn’t in any kind of trouble.

When we sat down, she told me that Morgan was in the building. My heart raced, I wasn’t sure if she’d want to see me or not. Not after what had happened on the weekend. I wasn’t sure whether I should leave or not. Not because I wanted to, but because I am aware that Morgan is a very fragile woman. I did not want to impose myself upon her, for all I knew she did not want to see me again. It made things difficult to me. I felt hurt, but sometimes it’s better to stop something before any real damage is done. Kristen left me because she didn’t understand my son’s ability, and I do not want to make that mistake again.

Kristen was never fond of Hunter. She would not play with him and treated him like a burden. I do not want my son to go through that again. It was wrong of me to do so, and it must already be hard for him to adapt to people because of his telepathy. It’s the reason he doesn’t go to sleepovers and I have to be there when he goes to birthday parties. I want to be there if something goes wrong, so that he’ll always have someone to turn to who isn’t afraid of taking him away home. I can only imagine what he must be going through.

I did not want to run away from Morgan. So I asked Brandee if she would relay the message that I was in the vicinity. Making it her choice whether to see me or not. If she said ‘no’, I knew where I stood with her and I would have collected our books and left the building quietly before she did.

When Brandee returned, she told took me to her office. My heart was racing as I saw Morgan sitting there with a @PupHelena in her lap. I wasn’t sure what to make of things, so I approached her quietly. She didn’t speak, I tried to break the silence, slightly aware that my presence may not be wanted. The atmosphere was tense, so I wasn’t sure what to do. I gave her the space she needed and the time.

Before I knew it, she asked me to hold her and we spent some time alone quietly in each others arms.

R.

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